Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde
There’s a very true saying…”no one knows what goes on behind closed doors”. This is very true of abusive relationships. Just as you can never judge a book by its cover, you can never judge the health of someone’s relationship by how they present it to the world. However, friends and family may notice that you’re not acting like yourself.
By this stage in the relationship, the lovely Dr Jekyll that you fell in love with, and who everyone else sees him to be, puts in an appearance to make you uncertain about leaving i.e. he can turn on the charm but by now, however hopeful you may be, you know the dreaded Mr Hyde will rear his ugly head shortly. Mr Hyde is a card-carrying jerk who wants to make your life a misery. Nothing is sacred. He will spoil every occasion you have – birthdays, kids’ birthdays, Christmas etc. Unless he is the sole focus of attention, he will find some way to ruin the occasion.
Why you ask? Because he can, and because he wants to hurt people who love him. Like a never-ending game of cat and mouse, the predator does not kill his prey. He enjoys using abuse and fear to
weaken it. Welcome to hell on earth. That’s life with a narcissist, always walking on eggshells, watching your back, protecting your kids, hoping today will be a good day. Accepting that all your achievements and talents will be belittled. Friendships will struggle because of him. Your own family will be marginalised. His friends and family come first and should be enough for you. Hellooooo…….do you still exist?
Dr Jekyll is his public face. Aren’t you lucky to be with such a good guy. Well if he really was Jekyll on a permanent basis, then yes, what a cool dude you have. How many people would believe he is really Hyde? Some friends and family members may have glimpsed Hyde but most people only see Jekyll. Such a nice guy with an unstable partner like you (no, you’re not). Tough one huh? This guy is not even your friend, let alone your loving spouse or partner.
And here’s the thing, he will never change. It’s up to you to change what you will accept from him.
Dr Jekyll and
Mr Hyde