The Great Escape
You did it, you got out. It may have taken a long time, perhaps even a lifetime, because it’s not always easy or practical to ‘just leave’.
So, where does this leave you? Beyond feeling stressed, anxious and fearful, what do you actually feel? Perhaps it’s so long since your feelings were acknowledged let alone validated, that you really
have no idea. Keeping the peace at any cost has actually cost you your self-esteem, your self-concept
and your self-belief. The process of disentangling your life and perhaps your children’s lives has nearly broken your spirit. You may well have lost all or some of your financial security. Friends and family may have listened to the narcissist’s lies and have turned against you. The narcissist may have succeeded in turning one or more of your children against you. Access visits and their fallout are an ongoing nightmare for you and your children as the narcissist uses every weapon in his arsenal to get back at you and most often the children at any cost.
Firstly
know that you are not alone…
Firstly, know that you are not alone. This is happening to competent, successful women every day, all around the world. When a narcissist succeeds in isolating you, they create your world based on their toxic world view. This is why they isolate you, or at least try to. If you are regularly among respectful, loving people with a positive worldview, you quickly see that there is something wrong in the relationship. You have clear social proof. That’s why isolated hostages often begin to align with their captor’s beliefs. I suggest you google the Stockholm Syndrome for more information on this.
Cults isolate their members from their families. Your narcissist is your very own cult leader. His cult has its own rules and beliefs created by him, to serve him and disempower you. Perhaps he sees himself as the God of his domestic world. Now that’s pretty scary stuff, but I actually know a guy who believed that he was God. He thought he was above the law and social mores.
Stay strong and minimise all contact with the narcissist. Where possible go No Contact. If children are involved go Low Contact. It is not easy but persevere. You (and your children) deserve a life of love and respect and that is not possible with a narcissist.
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