What is Emotional Abuse?

When I was young and in a narcissistic relationship, I didn't recognise that I was being abused, because emotional abuse was part of my childhood. To me it was only normal.

Luckily a good counsellor picked up on this and made me aware that this was not okay. Before this I thought the word, abuse meant physical violence

and I know a lot of people still think that!

So today we are going to talk about emotional abuse and some of the following descriptions of emotional abuse.

They may be familiar to you, and perhaps there will be some “ah-ha” moments as you recognise these behaviours in people you know.

I really want to emphasize that none of them are okay and all of them have adverse effects on your well-being. So, let us talk about emotional abuse.

Here's some of the things that it is.

• Use of weapons as a means of threatening

• Withholding affection as a punishment

• Name-calling

• Insulting

• Continuous criticism

• Trapping a partner at home or preventing them from leaving

• Threatening to hurt children, pets or other members of a partner's family

• Demanding to know where a partner is at every minute of the day

• Refusing trust - acting jealous or possessively

• Trying to isolate a partner from their family and friends

• Destruction of a partner's property

• Gaslighting or making a partner believe lies

• Monitoring where a partner goes, who they call and who they spend time with

• Humiliating a partner

• Making totally unfounded accusations of cheating

• Jealousy of outside relationships

• Cheating on a partner and then blaming them for the behaviour

• Attempting to control the partner's appearance

• Cheating to prove that they are more desirable than their partner, or telling a partner that they are lucky to be with them

• Telling a partner that they will not find anyone better

Cheating on a partner

and then blaming them for the behaviour

All of these things are emotional abuse and they do have effects on the victim.

Let's have a look at the short-term effects on the brain and the body. Shame, hopelessness, fear, confusion, moodiness, aches and pains, difficulty concentrating and muscle tension.

The longer the emotional abuse continues the more prolonged these effects can become.

The long-term effects on the brain and body are chronic pain, insomnia, social withdrawal or loneliness, guilt, anxiety and eventual feelings that the partner or parent is correct (that they are no good or ugly for example).

Studies show that emotional abuse may contribute to the development of fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue syndrome and there's also a long list of other things that can also be associated with it.

You can see that emotional abuse has a huge effect on the victim at all levels of their well-being. If you have been subjected to emotional abuse please talk to a professional who understands what it truly is and who can help you to set healthy goals.

Make a plan for your future - it is not okay to be subjected to this day in day out or even occasionally. If you need help please get it and I’m always available - Contact Jan CLICK HERE

I know that it's a lot to take in and you might be needing to spend a wee bit of time really processing this, and just let you ponder on what you've heard … what you've experienced in your life … what you see going on perhaps in friends, relationships, in your family - even in work relationships! Emotional abuse is not okay and it has severe repercussions.

Abuse is not just physical. It is emotional as well.